I Missed My Flight Because I Was Trying To Be Fancy
The entire family is out of town for various reasons so I decided to take two days to visit my family in Thunder Bay. It is a short flight from Toronto but I got to the airport early to take advantage of the Air Canada lounge pass we had bulletined to the wall. Not the real wall because that would be cruel, the cork part of the wall, just to be transparent. I would never really want to be transparent and don’t understand why it is so desirable. Who wants to see the colon actually doing its job? People who want people to be transparent haven’t fully thought that through.
As I am currently enjoying an alcohol detox from a summer of overindulgence, I had an apple, water, and watched Bachelor in Paradise. Don’t judge until you see it, then judge. Just like you can’t complain about politicians if you don’t vote. Samsies.
I arrived at my gate with time to spare when they announced a delay. I asked the agent if I could get on the other delayed flight that was scheduled to depart half an hour earlier than my delayed flight. She told me it was going to be $150 which kind-of negates the free fancy pass. So I passed. There was more Bachelor in Paradise on after all. I walk/ run to the lounge to continue my fancy water with decomposing strawberries floating like dead bodies on it and watch the end of the show while pretending not to be interested in that drivel. Super fancy.
I diligently eyed the departing flights’ screen behind me with its delayed red bar blinking at me like a beacon of bad news. With a 10.55pm departure, I left the comfort of my leather chair and walked to the gate at 10.25, amazed at my responsibleness of giving myself plenty of time. I arrived at the gate at 10.28 and saw the gate agent printing manifests. I love when I’m somewhere just in time–it feels efficient. I was playing a game on my phone when I received a text updating my flight departure time. I was already anticipating the walk back to the fancy waiting area and deciding to go with decomposing grapefruit when I got to the end of the text (sent at 10.34) reminding me that the departure time was now 10.15pm. A cool 19 minutes earlier. Yup. The plane was gone. While I’d been sitting there, no one looked for me. I didn’t feel fancy anymore.
I contemplated that leather lounge chair overnight but instead opted to go home and finish a load of laundry. Because nothing tops a fancy night like washing linens.
All told, with $85 in Ubers to and from the airport for a flight I didn’t catch, it looks like a bargain to get on that earlier flight with only a $65 delta. If the agent had mentioned that the airline was going to pull a fast one and I was going to miss my flight and it would really only cost me $65 to get on the flight leaving at that minute, I would have pressed that red button and taken the deal. (A Deal Or No Deal reference, not a missile launch reference to be transparent again.) When I asked the agent who was booking me to leave in the morning what happened she told me, “The plane arrived and we were able to get everyone on board to leave closer to the scheduled time.” Everyone. Hmmm. “It wasn’t before the original departure time so we can do that.” I only wish I had taken a picture of the delay board to prove my story. Instead, I took this picture of me being fancy and watching Bachelor in Paradise. Ah, the memories.