MumRevised Found Alive!
I am not dead, contrary to popular opinion. I have just been enjoying spending time with my kids this summer (translation: being lazy). I have been basking in my new success as a stand-up comic and having a hard time getting through all the offers (translation: too unmotivated to do anything since August 2nd). Finally, I have been writing my little ass off for others (translation: I wrote two stories of 1000 words each for a contest).
I am, however, happily engaged to Netflix (don’t tell Mister).
Daphne and Shaggy requested, at the beginning of the summer, that we would spend the majority of our time at the cottage this holiday. And it was a brilliant summer to do that from a weather perspective. Here’s the catch. I didn’t realize, like chocolate, that you can overdose on the cottage. (I discovered the chocolate problem in Switzerland, but don’t worry I’m back on the chocolate wagon). All that sun, booze, good food, fresh air and lazy mornings started to suck. Before you throw your bra at me, I know it doesn’t really suck.
What I missed more than anything was the routine of reading some of my favourite blogs, having far too many coffees, and taking the dog for a walk in the morning. I missed random stupid articles on Facebook. I missed the headshakes in the Twitterverse.
In short, I missed my life.
The kids started school yesterday, and I already feel like I am going to be able to cope better. The house is quiet. The coffee is hot.
What I was doing instead of hanging out with you:
- I tried stand-up. It was hard. I was ok. I like big sentences.
- My naturopath told me to try eliminating eggs, wheat, almonds, peas, potatoes, rice, beer and cola for 6 months starting in May. I hate to admit that I am feeling better because it is a bitch to avoid all of that. Corn and I have become best friends.
- I wrote two stories for a flash fiction contest. I did ok on my first submission which was a ghost story (placing 14th in my group of 35). I had some stupid errors that I am kicking myself for. <—– Like ending a sentence with a preposition. The second story was historical fiction. Both were a challenge, and I find out November 1 if I advance to the next round.
- Our neighbour’s tree landed on our roof. I thought a little light reading of Once Upon an Expat would be a pleasant distraction.
- I started a 10-pound challenge with my friends. We each put $100 into the kitty and have to lose 10lbs by November 1. I am sitting here eating nachos thinking about how that is going to happen in my sleep.
- I went to the TIFF and saw six movies.
- I found In Dubious Battle underwhelming;
- Loving could have taken 20 minutes out and it would have been better but otherwise charming;
- Deepwater Horizon was thrilling but not ‘deep’;
- The Sixth Beetle was a fascinating documentary but also too long;
- Orphan was a french subtitled disturbing movie and one I wish I could unsee because it was too real;
- See Brain on Fire if you get the chance. It was by far my favourite because the acting and story were both superb! I am the only person alive who did not read the book so I can’t tell you if it was better, but I can tell you that it only really dealt with the illness and a bit of the end.
- With everyone out of the house one weekend, I flew to Thunder Bay and visited grandpa (who waved at his selfie again cutting out my cuz) and started making an audition video for the Amazing Race Canada with my brother (upside down). I think y’all would love him, and we’d make a great team. Oh, and I hung out with the family too. They’re pretty sweet.
- My new fiance and I finished Friday Night Lights, Stranger Things, and Sherlock.
- I received this amazing new T from my friend. She knows me so well. It says “OK, But First Coffee.”
- I finally sat on the Kearney Bench of Knowledge, and it didn’t help.
- I watched the dog “Marilyn Monroe” on Bloor Street.
- I found a secret stash of Georgian Bay Gin Smash (impossible to find!). That was truly a highlight.
Tell me what you did this summer that wasn’t boring? I’d love to hear it. I miss hanging out with you guys on the internet. I promise to come back soon.