Notable Notifications as The Bible is Brought to Wikipedia

Notable Notifications as The Bible is Brought to Wikipedia

Ah, another day, another rejection. Here is the satire article that I couldn’t get anyone else to love. I know some of you will love it for me though because you get me.

  1. Simon Cowell added to the story of Jesus walking on the Sea of Galilee, by declaring Him winner of Bible’s Got Talent.
  2. The tattoo artist responsible for ‘No Regerts’ corrected the eighth commandment spelling and it now reads, “Thou shall not steel.”
  3. Sarah Palin changed “Thou shall not commit murder,” to “Thou shall not commit murder unless it is with a gun and you are defending yourself.”
  4. Sarah Huckabee Sanders felt the entire Bible was already 100% true but confirmed the new Bible is also 100% true.
  5. The Republican party requested the story of Noah’s Ark be removed from the bible entirely as it supports the global warming conspiracy.
  6. The number of men credited with removing “You shall not commit adultery,” was still printing at press time and could not be included in this article.
  7. Calvin Klein changed Joseph’s Dream Coat to black to update his look.
  8. Bill Clinton was credited with adding the statement, “I did not have sexual relations with Mary Magdalene.”
  9. Michael Richards and Mel Gibson jointly requested deletion of the entire old testament before their publicists stepped in and replaced their suggestions with “No comment.”
  10. Both Kayne West and Donald Trump suggested, “You shall have no other Gods before me,” before realizing it was already in the Bible.

Comments

  1. Yup, like it……a lot

  2. Can’t improve on #10!

  3. No rejection here. Several audible chuckles from me!
    Arionis recently posted…The One With The ListMy Profile

  4. As much as I like #10 I prefer the updated version with Kanye jumping in to say, “I’ma let you finish but…” right before the book of Revelations.
    Also there’s a Noah’s ark theme park in Kentucky, the same state that has a “creation museum” that features life-sized dioramas of early humans riding dinosaurs.
    Reportedly most of the people who visit the creation museum only go to laugh at how stupid it is.
    Christopher recently posted…The Snow Must Go On.My Profile

  5. These 10 notable notifications are simply fantastic, very good.

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